The eBay DJ

Ok, I surrender. Here is your new blog post!

At my condo complex (the one with the modeling agency on the main floor) each Unit has either a covered parking spot or a garage parking spot. We happen to have a covered parking spot…the worst one in fact. It is the only one with support beams on both sides of the space, making parking on par with destroying the Death Star by hitting a thermal exhaust port only 3 meters wide. So imagine my shock when I go to pull my car in, and some yahoo has chained his bike to the beam on MY SIDE. While it was still possible to park, it was impossible to open the door wide enough to get out of my car. The easiest solution was to simply get out of my car and swivel the bike around the beam so it now rested on the bike owners side of the pole.

The next day, I come home to again find the bike on my side! Again, I move it to his side. For 3 consecutive days this happened, until Friday I launched my passive aggressive assault. This time, I positioned the bike in such a way that it blocked his parking space requiring him to get out of his car to move the bike in order to park. The gall of this guy to take up my precious parking space to try to store his bike!! If this continues to happen, my passive aggressive strategy will continue in 3 phases.

PHASE 1 - A Note

“Dear Sir, I congratulate you for your concern for the environment and your own well being, as evidenced by your desire to ride a bicycle. Please make sure when parking said bicycle, it remains on the proper side (your side) of this beam.

My deepest thanks”

PHASE 2 - Tire flattening

Again, passive aggressive is the key so no real damage.  Simply drop a pebble in the cap of the air nozzle, tighten, and WHOOSH…no more air in tires.

PHASE 3 - Chain and padlock

Using my own chain and padlock, I will lock the bicycle to the pole in a way where it will be impossible for the offender to move the bike to my side (or to move his bike at all).

Wish me luck!